I've gotten a lot of comfort from reading the stories of fellow homeschoolers. It's helped me to process some of the things that happened to me and it's let me know, for the first time, that I'm not alone in being deeply troubled by the teaching and tone of the movement. This has been good.
And now I'm not really sure what to think.
It bothers me to see people falling over themselves to thank Chris Jeub for talking to former homeschoolers as if this is some great sign of benevolence. I understand the desire to see leaders in this movement taking an interest in reform. I get it. I really do. What I do not understand at all is why people are making such a big deal out of what this man thinks.
Let's look at some of the things Jeub has said recently.
In his blog post "Hang In There" on August 14th, 2013 (less than four months ago), Jeub writes:
"You may already know of Wendy and my story on Love in the House. It involved our oldest daughter, Alicia, and her stint of rebellion at 19. It shook our world, and the story unfolded on TLC in 2007 for the world to see and judge. The result was Love in the House, our book that explained our reconciliation with Alicia and with God — a transformation that put love at the center of our home. It was awesome, a great story in the end."
Look at how he talks about his adult daughter. Apparently as an adult, she had a "stint of rebellion". Against who? Him? God? He kicked her out of the house. But it makes for a great story! And oh! you can buy his book on his website so you can read all about how god worked in him and his wife to act like basic human beings towards their daughter. Apparently that requires supernatural assistance.
Jeub also offers a rebuttal to Lauren Sandler's article for Time Magazine - "Childfree Life". First, he opens his post with this:
"I’m a bit offended. TIME didn’t call me for a rebuttal. I have 16 children — and I’m a debate coach to boot — and would have loved the opportunity to rebut Lauren Sandler’s article “The Childfree Life.”
Wow. Jeub's "status" as a parent of lots of kids definitely makes him an expert on living without children! And of course TIME Magazine should have known to call him up and get his opinion! I mean, he's OFFENDED!
He goes on to say things like this:
"Yes, I know, it’s judgmental of parents to think the childless life as a waste. But the judgment is not naive; it is a rational comparison between a previous, self-absorbed existence to a latter, oh-my-life-is-more-than-just-me existence. The parent writing a TIME article about the “joy” in childlessness is, well, stu- … naive. "
You're right, Jeub. My childless life is a waste. A waste. Wow, I just need to say it again- a waste. I guess somebody should have told Paul that he needed to start having kids! You don’t know me, but obviously I'm just self-absorbed and I'm about me, me, me all the time. But hey, at least I'm not offended when an international magazine isn't clamoring for my opinion.
Let’s continue, shall we?
On November 8th, 2013 Jeub wrote a post called “Pattern of the Fallen” in which he tries to explain why people really leave the faith. I mean, who gives a shit about why THEY say they leave. He has way more smarts because he leads a debate team! My god, aren’t we lucky that he bothered to speak about us atheists at all?
“I consider it tragic when people walk away from God. Sometimes they leave in a huff, sometimes they’ve intellectually wrestled, sometimes they dive into crazy sin and blow up their lives. Whatever the story, they are no longer walking with God, and that’s sad.
I’ve seen a pattern, though. This may give you hope. Wendy and I see this time and time again. Any separation between man and God can be attributed to a lack of love. Look around the life of the person who blows up his or her life: love is difficult to find. Love got lost in the shuffle somewhere long ago.”
Oh wow! So you’re telling me I became an atheist because I didn’t have enough love?! This is news to me. I really thought it was because I spent an agonized year of searching for evidence – ANY evidence that the faith I’d devoted my life to for thirty years was real and didn’t find a single thing that stood up to the most basic of logical tests. Jeub might be a debate coach, but I have a degree in religion and philosophy. I’ve spent years digging through textual criticism, archaeological records, apologetics, church history, the writings of the early church fathers, and on and on and on. I find Christianity to be logically bankrupt. THAT is why I left. Not because no one loved me. Not because I didn’t feel the presence of what I very much believed was god. I left because it isn’t true.
And now that I’ve been ostracized from my entire support system, have had to deal with sobbing parents insisting that I must be mentally ill, have been unfriended and blocked by longtime “friends” for politely stating my opinion, have received horribly insulting emails from family and friends (all of which happened after I left, mind you), I will be damned if I give two more seconds of airtime to this jackass who thinks that he knows the real reasons why I left.
I want to continue to support homeschoolers who are trying to recover from any and all abuse. But if giving these “leaders” a platform to continue to hold onto their positions of power which they’ve been abusing for decades is going to become a trend, I’m out. I’m so out. I’m trying to pick up the pieces of my life and fill my eyes and ears and heart with the words of people who have already proven that they are trustworthy. I want to hear from more homeschoolers and amplify THEIR voices.
This insistence that we need to talk to everybody who wants to say something, regardless of whether or not they’ve earned the platform is ridiculous. It reminds me of those Christians who whine to homosexuals that they need to tolerate their intolerance.
No. I do not need to make room for anyone’s harmful ideas. Not everyone deserves a stage. This “conversation” becomes ridiculous when anyone insists we include people with a history of promoting damaging ideas who has not done anything at all to “repent” of that. Offering to talk is not action.
That is all.
And now I'm not really sure what to think.
It bothers me to see people falling over themselves to thank Chris Jeub for talking to former homeschoolers as if this is some great sign of benevolence. I understand the desire to see leaders in this movement taking an interest in reform. I get it. I really do. What I do not understand at all is why people are making such a big deal out of what this man thinks.
Let's look at some of the things Jeub has said recently.
In his blog post "Hang In There" on August 14th, 2013 (less than four months ago), Jeub writes:
"You may already know of Wendy and my story on Love in the House. It involved our oldest daughter, Alicia, and her stint of rebellion at 19. It shook our world, and the story unfolded on TLC in 2007 for the world to see and judge. The result was Love in the House, our book that explained our reconciliation with Alicia and with God — a transformation that put love at the center of our home. It was awesome, a great story in the end."
Look at how he talks about his adult daughter. Apparently as an adult, she had a "stint of rebellion". Against who? Him? God? He kicked her out of the house. But it makes for a great story! And oh! you can buy his book on his website so you can read all about how god worked in him and his wife to act like basic human beings towards their daughter. Apparently that requires supernatural assistance.
Jeub also offers a rebuttal to Lauren Sandler's article for Time Magazine - "Childfree Life". First, he opens his post with this:
"I’m a bit offended. TIME didn’t call me for a rebuttal. I have 16 children — and I’m a debate coach to boot — and would have loved the opportunity to rebut Lauren Sandler’s article “The Childfree Life.”
Wow. Jeub's "status" as a parent of lots of kids definitely makes him an expert on living without children! And of course TIME Magazine should have known to call him up and get his opinion! I mean, he's OFFENDED!
He goes on to say things like this:
"Yes, I know, it’s judgmental of parents to think the childless life as a waste. But the judgment is not naive; it is a rational comparison between a previous, self-absorbed existence to a latter, oh-my-life-is-more-than-just-me existence. The parent writing a TIME article about the “joy” in childlessness is, well, stu- … naive. "
You're right, Jeub. My childless life is a waste. A waste. Wow, I just need to say it again- a waste. I guess somebody should have told Paul that he needed to start having kids! You don’t know me, but obviously I'm just self-absorbed and I'm about me, me, me all the time. But hey, at least I'm not offended when an international magazine isn't clamoring for my opinion.
Let’s continue, shall we?
On November 8th, 2013 Jeub wrote a post called “Pattern of the Fallen” in which he tries to explain why people really leave the faith. I mean, who gives a shit about why THEY say they leave. He has way more smarts because he leads a debate team! My god, aren’t we lucky that he bothered to speak about us atheists at all?
“I consider it tragic when people walk away from God. Sometimes they leave in a huff, sometimes they’ve intellectually wrestled, sometimes they dive into crazy sin and blow up their lives. Whatever the story, they are no longer walking with God, and that’s sad.
I’ve seen a pattern, though. This may give you hope. Wendy and I see this time and time again. Any separation between man and God can be attributed to a lack of love. Look around the life of the person who blows up his or her life: love is difficult to find. Love got lost in the shuffle somewhere long ago.”
Oh wow! So you’re telling me I became an atheist because I didn’t have enough love?! This is news to me. I really thought it was because I spent an agonized year of searching for evidence – ANY evidence that the faith I’d devoted my life to for thirty years was real and didn’t find a single thing that stood up to the most basic of logical tests. Jeub might be a debate coach, but I have a degree in religion and philosophy. I’ve spent years digging through textual criticism, archaeological records, apologetics, church history, the writings of the early church fathers, and on and on and on. I find Christianity to be logically bankrupt. THAT is why I left. Not because no one loved me. Not because I didn’t feel the presence of what I very much believed was god. I left because it isn’t true.
And now that I’ve been ostracized from my entire support system, have had to deal with sobbing parents insisting that I must be mentally ill, have been unfriended and blocked by longtime “friends” for politely stating my opinion, have received horribly insulting emails from family and friends (all of which happened after I left, mind you), I will be damned if I give two more seconds of airtime to this jackass who thinks that he knows the real reasons why I left.
I want to continue to support homeschoolers who are trying to recover from any and all abuse. But if giving these “leaders” a platform to continue to hold onto their positions of power which they’ve been abusing for decades is going to become a trend, I’m out. I’m so out. I’m trying to pick up the pieces of my life and fill my eyes and ears and heart with the words of people who have already proven that they are trustworthy. I want to hear from more homeschoolers and amplify THEIR voices.
This insistence that we need to talk to everybody who wants to say something, regardless of whether or not they’ve earned the platform is ridiculous. It reminds me of those Christians who whine to homosexuals that they need to tolerate their intolerance.
No. I do not need to make room for anyone’s harmful ideas. Not everyone deserves a stage. This “conversation” becomes ridiculous when anyone insists we include people with a history of promoting damaging ideas who has not done anything at all to “repent” of that. Offering to talk is not action.
That is all.
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